Wednesday, April 11, 2007
I am a rarse clark, whatever that is
On account of recent out-of-town guests and LL Cool Jew's nuptials, I've been neglecting the site this past week, but that hasn't stopped the haters! I guess they took advantage of this rare period of silence from me to speak their minds. Someone complained in the comments that my "journal entries" are boring. To that end, I have upcoming stories about strippers, scotch, my amazing breasts, and lesbian sex, so, Dear Diary, be patient until I can bring that noise. Also, my e-mail had this waiting gem from yet another 50 Cent hater taking issue with my conclusions in the World's Greatest Rap Beefs section:
From: benet thomas (outlawzbenet@gmail.com)
To: Razzy (razzy@razzy.org)
Subject: You're a retard
Claiming that 50 cent fucking wis every beef, even with some shitty excuses
like "Kim's in jail and So is Shyne so 50 wins" What the fuck is that you
rarse clark?
There isn't even beef from Shynes point of view and if you did your fucking
research G Unit keeps trying to sign him to their records, Shyne just keeps
telling them to get the fuck off his dick as he won't be involved in the
shit G unit keeps putting their artists in so 50 Cent ordered a verbal
assault on him. No other track was released by Shyne as he's in fucking
prison, only an interview where he states thet 50 Cent is a two faced mutha
fucka.
How is that beef you idgit?
Get of 50's dick.
I find these e-mails amusing because people are always so indignant that I like 50 Cent. I don't think people ever realize that my fondness for my boyfriend Curtis is more due to his humorous antics as opposed to his prowess at rap. I did, however, enjoy the rather Biblical-sounding "get of 50's dick." That sounds like some sort of antiquated version of the Liturgy of the Eucharist: "take this all of you, and eat of it, for this is my body which has been given up for you...do this in memory of me." I think it more likely that Benet's inferior typing skills resulted in omission of the letter "f" rather than a subtle reference to the transubstantiation of the host, but I couldn't resist making a crack about it in my reply.
From: Razzy (razzy@razzy.org)
To: benet thomas (outlawzbenet@gmail.com)
Subject: RE: You're a retard
Well, Benet, since this is approximately the 50th poorly composed e-mail I've received disputing my assertions concerning the venerable Mr. Curtis Jackson, I have a ready answer: it's my fucking opinion. If you would like to set up an internet shrine to Shyne's lyrical aptitude and dominance over the G-Unit from his cell at Sing Sing, be my guest. However, please be advised that in my experience, it's always much better to properly spell "idiot" before you use that term to defame someone.
I will, therefore, not "get of 50's dick." In fact, I'd gladly get of it, if he were to proffer it.
Regards,
Razzy
P.S. What the fuck is a "rarse clark"? I am curious.
I eagerly anticipate a reply from "Outlawz Benet", particularly concerning the etiology and definition of the term "rarse clark". Based on my internet research, only one person, some chick named Beckie on MSN, has ever been called this and per her message board queries, it means either "no way, Jose" or "I'm Rick James, bitch." Needless to say, I'm still confused regarding its meaning and whether or not it's an insult that makes any kind of sense at all. And Benet says I'm the retard.
From: benet thomas (outlawzbenet@gmail.com)
To: Razzy (razzy@razzy.org)
Subject: You're a retard
Claiming that 50 cent fucking wis every beef, even with some shitty excuses
like "Kim's in jail and So is Shyne so 50 wins" What the fuck is that you
rarse clark?
There isn't even beef from Shynes point of view and if you did your fucking
research G Unit keeps trying to sign him to their records, Shyne just keeps
telling them to get the fuck off his dick as he won't be involved in the
shit G unit keeps putting their artists in so 50 Cent ordered a verbal
assault on him. No other track was released by Shyne as he's in fucking
prison, only an interview where he states thet 50 Cent is a two faced mutha
fucka.
How is that beef you idgit?
Get of 50's dick.
I find these e-mails amusing because people are always so indignant that I like 50 Cent. I don't think people ever realize that my fondness for my boyfriend Curtis is more due to his humorous antics as opposed to his prowess at rap. I did, however, enjoy the rather Biblical-sounding "get of 50's dick." That sounds like some sort of antiquated version of the Liturgy of the Eucharist: "take this all of you, and eat of it, for this is my body which has been given up for you...do this in memory of me." I think it more likely that Benet's inferior typing skills resulted in omission of the letter "f" rather than a subtle reference to the transubstantiation of the host, but I couldn't resist making a crack about it in my reply.
From: Razzy (razzy@razzy.org)
To: benet thomas (outlawzbenet@gmail.com)
Subject: RE: You're a retard
Well, Benet, since this is approximately the 50th poorly composed e-mail I've received disputing my assertions concerning the venerable Mr. Curtis Jackson, I have a ready answer: it's my fucking opinion. If you would like to set up an internet shrine to Shyne's lyrical aptitude and dominance over the G-Unit from his cell at Sing Sing, be my guest. However, please be advised that in my experience, it's always much better to properly spell "idiot" before you use that term to defame someone.
I will, therefore, not "get of 50's dick." In fact, I'd gladly get of it, if he were to proffer it.
Regards,
Razzy
P.S. What the fuck is a "rarse clark"? I am curious.
I eagerly anticipate a reply from "Outlawz Benet", particularly concerning the etiology and definition of the term "rarse clark". Based on my internet research, only one person, some chick named Beckie on MSN, has ever been called this and per her message board queries, it means either "no way, Jose" or "I'm Rick James, bitch." Needless to say, I'm still confused regarding its meaning and whether or not it's an insult that makes any kind of sense at all. And Benet says I'm the retard.
Labels: 50 cent, boyfriends, correspondence, grammar gestapo, rap, Razzy Haters
Monday, March 05, 2007
Here's the beef
Most of the e-mail I get can be classified into several general categories:
1. People disputing or encouraging incorporation of various Hot Jews on the list
2. People telling me they love the site because X blog posting was hilarious
3. People telling me they hate the site because X blog posting was offensive
4. People taking issue with the extended coverage of 50 Cent on my "rap beefs" page
Today I received an e-mail from the latter category. These "rap beefs" e-mails are always pretty similar in that, after sifting through a sea of misspellings and aberrant punctuation, I glean that the author is trying to prove to me that my boyfriend Curtis Jackson is insincere, untalented, and a snitch because either Jadakiss/the Game/Fat Joe/Nas beat him in a mythical rap battle that may or may not have happened. In particular, the Jadakiss supporters are especially feisty, and I'm often about this close to reminding them that despite having all sorts of "realness" attributed to him by his fans, he did appear on the aural abortion known as "Jenny from the Block". When your ass appears in a video where the main storyline includes Ben Affleck pumping gas into his and J-Lo's Bentley, I think you should lose a few points for street credibility, but whatever.
In any event, these e-mails are all usually really indignant, question my taste in music and my intellect, and demand that I change it. Then there's some sort of vaguely threatening sign-off, such as "quit suckin fiddys dick bitch" or "i dare u 2 respond u probly a chickenhead snitch just like 50 u fuckin fag". I always respond, inform the e-mailer that my website contains MY opinion, and if they think something different should be on the internet, they should start their own fucking website. I also typically make a choice remark or two about their literacy. Today's e-mail was no exception, although, judging from the e-mail address, this hater is Canadian:
To: Razzy (razzy@razzy.org)
From: Peta Pemberton (nakitap@shaw.ca)
Subject: This is from Tony Vedovato
I'm sayen that your fucken veiw on the beefs are wack I think you need
to get of 50's dick and you sound like a fag Fat Joe Jadakiss and
especially the mothafucken game ripped 50 to peices he is a snitch he
does live in conneticut haven you ever seen stop snitchin stop lien,
shit if you have the balls email me back justify your faggy ass reviews
Okay, Tony Vedovato/Peta Pemberton (and by the way, don't BOTH of those names sound like comic book characters?), no problem. I'll e-mail your ass back AND post your correspondence on my website.
To: Peta Pemberton (nakitap@shaw.ca)
From: Razzy (razzy@razzy.org)
Subject: RE: This is from Tony Vedovato
Well, I don't "have the balls" because I'm not male (and I think my status as a female
likewise answers your charges that I am a gay man), but certainly I have the courage to
respond via e-mail to your assertion that my opinions are "wack." I can justify my
"faggy ass reviews" quite easily and succinctly: it's my website, and they're my
opinions. If you wish to figuratively fellate Fat Joe, Jadakiss, and "especially the
mothafucken Game" and talk shit about my boyfriend Curtis, then I suggest starting your
own online monument to useless bullshit, because I don't change my opinions based on
getting partially incomprehensible e-mails (ie: I have no idea what a "lien" has to do in
relation to snitching, but somehow I suspect it's not the legal freezing of an account or
property to secure payment of a debt).
Another opinion I have is that you need to come up with a more diverse array of insults
than simply the several variations of "fag" you use here. I would also strongly suggest
a review of basic grammar and spelling, starting with "i before e except after c."
Those are my "fucken veiws".
Razzy
I can't wait to see if Peta/Tony likewise has the requisite balls to respond. Man, I love me a good e-mail freestyle battle.
1. People disputing or encouraging incorporation of various Hot Jews on the list
2. People telling me they love the site because X blog posting was hilarious
3. People telling me they hate the site because X blog posting was offensive
4. People taking issue with the extended coverage of 50 Cent on my "rap beefs" page
Today I received an e-mail from the latter category. These "rap beefs" e-mails are always pretty similar in that, after sifting through a sea of misspellings and aberrant punctuation, I glean that the author is trying to prove to me that my boyfriend Curtis Jackson is insincere, untalented, and a snitch because either Jadakiss/the Game/Fat Joe/Nas beat him in a mythical rap battle that may or may not have happened. In particular, the Jadakiss supporters are especially feisty, and I'm often about this close to reminding them that despite having all sorts of "realness" attributed to him by his fans, he did appear on the aural abortion known as "Jenny from the Block". When your ass appears in a video where the main storyline includes Ben Affleck pumping gas into his and J-Lo's Bentley, I think you should lose a few points for street credibility, but whatever.
In any event, these e-mails are all usually really indignant, question my taste in music and my intellect, and demand that I change it. Then there's some sort of vaguely threatening sign-off, such as "quit suckin fiddys dick bitch" or "i dare u 2 respond u probly a chickenhead snitch just like 50 u fuckin fag". I always respond, inform the e-mailer that my website contains MY opinion, and if they think something different should be on the internet, they should start their own fucking website. I also typically make a choice remark or two about their literacy. Today's e-mail was no exception, although, judging from the e-mail address, this hater is Canadian:
To: Razzy (razzy@razzy.org)
From: Peta Pemberton (nakitap@shaw.ca)
Subject: This is from Tony Vedovato
I'm sayen that your fucken veiw on the beefs are wack I think you need
to get of 50's dick and you sound like a fag Fat Joe Jadakiss and
especially the mothafucken game ripped 50 to peices he is a snitch he
does live in conneticut haven you ever seen stop snitchin stop lien,
shit if you have the balls email me back justify your faggy ass reviews
Okay, Tony Vedovato/Peta Pemberton (and by the way, don't BOTH of those names sound like comic book characters?), no problem. I'll e-mail your ass back AND post your correspondence on my website.
To: Peta Pemberton (nakitap@shaw.ca)
From: Razzy (razzy@razzy.org)
Subject: RE: This is from Tony Vedovato
Well, I don't "have the balls" because I'm not male (and I think my status as a female
likewise answers your charges that I am a gay man), but certainly I have the courage to
respond via e-mail to your assertion that my opinions are "wack." I can justify my
"faggy ass reviews" quite easily and succinctly: it's my website, and they're my
opinions. If you wish to figuratively fellate Fat Joe, Jadakiss, and "especially the
mothafucken Game" and talk shit about my boyfriend Curtis, then I suggest starting your
own online monument to useless bullshit, because I don't change my opinions based on
getting partially incomprehensible e-mails (ie: I have no idea what a "lien" has to do in
relation to snitching, but somehow I suspect it's not the legal freezing of an account or
property to secure payment of a debt).
Another opinion I have is that you need to come up with a more diverse array of insults
than simply the several variations of "fag" you use here. I would also strongly suggest
a review of basic grammar and spelling, starting with "i before e except after c."
Those are my "fucken veiws".
Razzy
I can't wait to see if Peta/Tony likewise has the requisite balls to respond. Man, I love me a good e-mail freestyle battle.
Labels: 50 cent, correspondence, defiance, grammar gestapo, rap, Razzy Haters, retard rage, scathing indictments
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Must buys for my boudoir
A friend of mine employed by a major news network has just tipped me off to some serious breaking news in the business world. It seems my boyfriend Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson has just informed GQ that he plans on further broadening his line of signature products to include condoms and sex toys. And I quote:
"I need to make a 50 Cent condom, and a motorized version of me."While he has stated that he wants his condom line to promote HIV/AIDS awareness and safe sex, he doesn't quite have the particulars figured out regarding his 50 Cent vibrator. I applaud the amount of thought he's putting into it, though. Clearly he's trying to think from a woman's point of view, as he's considered many of the more practical aspects of vibrator use:
"A motorized version of me will definitely have to be waterproof, so you could utilize it in the tub. A lot of them (vibrators) aren't waterproof."I could add that, in my experience, a superior vibrator is one that plugs into a wall outlet. The Sharper Image sells a lot of "neck massagers" that are excellent for this purpose. I've found that the battery-powered ones, while having the advantage of portability, often lose their juice too quickly. However, it is true that there are precious few vibrators that can stand immersion, or more importantly, that won't electrocute you if introduced to the bath or shower. For years, women have been compromised with those variable-speed massaging shower-heads, which I've always found to be woefully inadequate for rubbing one off (it's easier to just do it the old-fashioned way with your dominant hand) AND potent inducers of urinary tract infections. Fitty would clearly be getting into a market with plenty of room to grow by making a waterproof vibrator. This isn't the only concern my man Curtis has for his line of G-Unit pleasuring devices, though.
"Blue is my favorite color, so it would probably be blue. But I don't know how big. I don't know if big is better, because I'm not sure a man wants his woman playing with a really big dildo."Typical men...always concerned first and foremost with their own stupid fucking penis insecurity issues. I wonder if this isn't a clever ruse to distract consumers from the fact that a "motorized version" of himself might not be the hugest weiner women have ever seen. I mean, I've obviously seen his penis like a zillion times, but I'm not at liberty to say how big it actually is because he swore me to secrecy. All I have to say to him is baby, if you want to make a product that women will want to use, that shit better have some girth and *several* different speeds! At least Fitty's final word on the project makes sense:
"I want to create something like that, that's fun and sexually exciting for women."If you pull it off, bitches everywhere will be glad to get in your car, Fitty!
Labels: 50 cent, boyfriends, capitalism, I LOVE IT, masturbation, perversion, rap, sex
Friday, November 10, 2006
Poppin' Razzy's thangs
I've gotten several queries about my feelings regarding Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson. Why does he hold #1 boyfriend status? Why is he your top MySpace friend? Don't you know he's gay?
Well, yes, but that's not the point. If anyone still has any doubts about 50's status on the down low, you should check out his Vitamin Water bus ads, which feature a ribbed mock turtleneck-clad 50 carrying a New York Times, a bottle of Formula 50, and a Jack Russell terrier beneath the caption "No groupies, no rented mansion, just 50." Since I couldn't find a picture of that on the internet (reason #457 why I desperately need a digital camera), here is the next best thing, a screen capture from the Vitamin Water website about his signature grape-flavored health beverage. How much you want to bet the ad exec who wrote this got paid extra for every authentic rap word they managed to incorporate in the text? I mean, "a cheddar check-in with the accountants"? Come ON.
Anyway, in spite of his faggy beverage endorsements, the reasons I love 50 so much are so numerous I could fill a large tome. Nobody wants to read that, so I'll just explain the genesis of my 50 adoration. I first became interested in him after seeing the G-Unit's "Poppin Them Thangs" video. The premise of this video is that the Gorilla Unit is a high-powered heavy hitter in the world of international organized crime, and they are attending a meeting with a number of bigwigs presumably inspired by Grand Theft Auto games.
Somehow we are supposed to believe that 50 Cent, accompanied by his henchmen Lloyd Banks and Young Buck, is the leader of the G-Unit branch of this global crime syndicate. The camera pans around the table and the viewer is introduced to the various criminal overlords of the Japanese Yakuza, the Russian Mafiya, some random Colombian cartel, the Chinese Triad, the Hell's Angels, the Don Whatever family of New York, and...the G-Unit. Then the boys from G-Unit start rapping, and it's immediately apparent why they are included in this group. 50 starts off the song by talking about how he beat up his baby mama for cussing him out after the 2002 VMAs, how he cuts the grass where he walks so you can see his sneakers, which female R&B singers he wants to bang (good luck with Missy Elliott, dude...everyone knows she's a big old lesbo), and accessorizing cars with his clothes. Lloyd Banks and Young Buck then clarify that they are out for vengeance (against who and for what is unclear), as Lloyd says "I'm out for revenge like one of Bin Laden's cousins" and Buck says, "On the front of the Maybach it say 'payback'". I am still not sure what the G-Unit brings to the metaphorical table at this clandestine warehouse meeting of the high-powered criminal underworld, but I guess it has something to do with drug dealing, as right after Lloyd Banks brags about a woman who had his balls head first like a soccer star, he says something about how he "takes care of birds like an animal doctor." I suppose that given Tony Yayo was in absentia due to being in prison for the extremely gangsta crime of possessing a phony passport, the G-Unit is also useful for their expertise at forgery.
It seems that the other criminal leaders are not fond of 50 Cent and the G-Unit, because his "theatrics" are "bad for business." 50 doesn't care, and announces that he "wants in" on the myriad illicit money-making schemes, such as "sanitation contracts in Chicago" and "corporate takeovers in Japan." The other leaders oppose this, so 50 invites half of Jamaica, Queens to the warehouse, scaring everyone and paving the way for Tony Yayo to own a trucking company as a front for more sordid enterprises.
Anyway, just watch it for yourself, because this video is absurd and hilarious, and after seeing it, I immediately made a point to familiarize myself with all of 50's greatest achievements. Then I fell in love. And that's why 50 is my main man. If he's not yours after watching this, then there's something wrong with you.
Well, yes, but that's not the point. If anyone still has any doubts about 50's status on the down low, you should check out his Vitamin Water bus ads, which feature a ribbed mock turtleneck-clad 50 carrying a New York Times, a bottle of Formula 50, and a Jack Russell terrier beneath the caption "No groupies, no rented mansion, just 50." Since I couldn't find a picture of that on the internet (reason #457 why I desperately need a digital camera), here is the next best thing, a screen capture from the Vitamin Water website about his signature grape-flavored health beverage. How much you want to bet the ad exec who wrote this got paid extra for every authentic rap word they managed to incorporate in the text? I mean, "a cheddar check-in with the accountants"? Come ON.
Anyway, in spite of his faggy beverage endorsements, the reasons I love 50 so much are so numerous I could fill a large tome. Nobody wants to read that, so I'll just explain the genesis of my 50 adoration. I first became interested in him after seeing the G-Unit's "Poppin Them Thangs" video. The premise of this video is that the Gorilla Unit is a high-powered heavy hitter in the world of international organized crime, and they are attending a meeting with a number of bigwigs presumably inspired by Grand Theft Auto games.
Somehow we are supposed to believe that 50 Cent, accompanied by his henchmen Lloyd Banks and Young Buck, is the leader of the G-Unit branch of this global crime syndicate. The camera pans around the table and the viewer is introduced to the various criminal overlords of the Japanese Yakuza, the Russian Mafiya, some random Colombian cartel, the Chinese Triad, the Hell's Angels, the Don Whatever family of New York, and...the G-Unit. Then the boys from G-Unit start rapping, and it's immediately apparent why they are included in this group. 50 starts off the song by talking about how he beat up his baby mama for cussing him out after the 2002 VMAs, how he cuts the grass where he walks so you can see his sneakers, which female R&B singers he wants to bang (good luck with Missy Elliott, dude...everyone knows she's a big old lesbo), and accessorizing cars with his clothes. Lloyd Banks and Young Buck then clarify that they are out for vengeance (against who and for what is unclear), as Lloyd says "I'm out for revenge like one of Bin Laden's cousins" and Buck says, "On the front of the Maybach it say 'payback'". I am still not sure what the G-Unit brings to the metaphorical table at this clandestine warehouse meeting of the high-powered criminal underworld, but I guess it has something to do with drug dealing, as right after Lloyd Banks brags about a woman who had his balls head first like a soccer star, he says something about how he "takes care of birds like an animal doctor." I suppose that given Tony Yayo was in absentia due to being in prison for the extremely gangsta crime of possessing a phony passport, the G-Unit is also useful for their expertise at forgery.
It seems that the other criminal leaders are not fond of 50 Cent and the G-Unit, because his "theatrics" are "bad for business." 50 doesn't care, and announces that he "wants in" on the myriad illicit money-making schemes, such as "sanitation contracts in Chicago" and "corporate takeovers in Japan." The other leaders oppose this, so 50 invites half of Jamaica, Queens to the warehouse, scaring everyone and paving the way for Tony Yayo to own a trucking company as a front for more sordid enterprises.
Anyway, just watch it for yourself, because this video is absurd and hilarious, and after seeing it, I immediately made a point to familiarize myself with all of 50's greatest achievements. Then I fell in love. And that's why 50 is my main man. If he's not yours after watching this, then there's something wrong with you.
Labels: 50 cent, boyfriends, hilarious shit, I LOVE IT, rap, ridiculous absurdity
Thursday, September 21, 2006
G-g-g-g-gay unit?
Yesterday while I was busy chopping up mouse fetuses in the tissue culture room, I heard the quote of the day on the Ed Lover show on Power105. Apparently there were rumors going around that Mya was dating my boyfriend 50 Cent. Fitty fucks around on me a lot, so I was more angry with him about being stupid enough to drive his Lambo recklessly around Madison Square Garden with no plates or tags, registration, insurance, or valid driver's license a couple weeks ago.
"You know how much this ticket is going to cost?!" I shouted at him, ignoring his pleas about how he's gotten rich and, by the grace of God, didn't die trying. "It's this kind of reckless disregard for wealth that cost Foxy Brown her fortune! One minute you're beating up nail salon technicians for doing a shoddy job on your tips, and the next you're recently recovered from mystery deafness and defaulting on settlements in court because your ass is dead broke!"
Anyway, I was too heated up about that to worry about a busted skank like Mya, so Fitty hasn't weighed in on the truth about the rumors that he was boning her:
However, according to Ed Lover, Mya had some choice words to say about 50. And I quote:
"50 and I never dated...despite what he chooses to believe in his own mind. I don't know how he would get Lloyd Banks confused with me."
SNAP! Damn, Mya! The bitch is not pulling any punches! Not only is her love, body, ass, and sex like whoa, I guess her ability to dispel rumors by outing people is as well. Presumably she either doesn't know or doesn't care about Fitty's fondness for diss tracks. I predict that she's about to get the same musical treatment as Vivica A. Fox and Kelis next time a G-Unit album drops.
And on another note, I'm going to have some face time with Fitty about all these gay rumors that keep going around about him. First it's his sentimental romanticism about George W. Bush, and now this. Even though he has photographic proof that this is what goes on when he and Lloyd get together for "poker night," I'm beginning to have my suspicions:
Sure, it LOOKS like it's all money counting, cigar smoking, Courvoisier drinking, and gun displaying, but I don't see any playing cards or poker chips or, for that matter, any hoed-out bitches around anywhere. Like, where is (fag hag) Olivia, guys? And that shotgun IS pretty phallic. It makes me wonder...
"You know how much this ticket is going to cost?!" I shouted at him, ignoring his pleas about how he's gotten rich and, by the grace of God, didn't die trying. "It's this kind of reckless disregard for wealth that cost Foxy Brown her fortune! One minute you're beating up nail salon technicians for doing a shoddy job on your tips, and the next you're recently recovered from mystery deafness and defaulting on settlements in court because your ass is dead broke!"
Anyway, I was too heated up about that to worry about a busted skank like Mya, so Fitty hasn't weighed in on the truth about the rumors that he was boning her:
However, according to Ed Lover, Mya had some choice words to say about 50. And I quote:
"50 and I never dated...despite what he chooses to believe in his own mind. I don't know how he would get Lloyd Banks confused with me."
SNAP! Damn, Mya! The bitch is not pulling any punches! Not only is her love, body, ass, and sex like whoa, I guess her ability to dispel rumors by outing people is as well. Presumably she either doesn't know or doesn't care about Fitty's fondness for diss tracks. I predict that she's about to get the same musical treatment as Vivica A. Fox and Kelis next time a G-Unit album drops.
And on another note, I'm going to have some face time with Fitty about all these gay rumors that keep going around about him. First it's his sentimental romanticism about George W. Bush, and now this. Even though he has photographic proof that this is what goes on when he and Lloyd get together for "poker night," I'm beginning to have my suspicions:
Labels: 50 cent, boyfriends, celebrities, hilarious shit, rap, scathing indictments, vulgar display of faggotry
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Another resounding endorsement of the Bush Administration
As usual, my boyfriend 50 Cent opens his mouth and, instead of showing off a rose gold grill, drops supremely quotable witticisms. Perez Hilton just quoted him as saying:
"You wanna know something? I actually like George W. Bush. In some ways, I'm the George W. Bush of hip hop: nobody likes me, but I'm still gonna run it for the next four years."
They are pretty similar in other ways, too. Bush loves Jesus, for example, and 50 is always rocking at least one platinum cross. Similarly, they both enjoy guns and warfare. Also, I'm sure Bush likes doing "presidential shit", and 50 has said several times that he enjoys smoking "presidential shit." Interesting.
I think an invitation to the White House is in order, so that these two can gaze lovingly at one another, exchange sweet nothings, and make sweet, sweet love. Down low poker night in the West Wing is surely inevitable.
Que romantico!
"You wanna know something? I actually like George W. Bush. In some ways, I'm the George W. Bush of hip hop: nobody likes me, but I'm still gonna run it for the next four years."
They are pretty similar in other ways, too. Bush loves Jesus, for example, and 50 is always rocking at least one platinum cross. Similarly, they both enjoy guns and warfare. Also, I'm sure Bush likes doing "presidential shit", and 50 has said several times that he enjoys smoking "presidential shit." Interesting.
I think an invitation to the White House is in order, so that these two can gaze lovingly at one another, exchange sweet nothings, and make sweet, sweet love. Down low poker night in the West Wing is surely inevitable.
Que romantico!
Labels: 50 cent, boyfriends, politics, rap, vulgar display of faggotry
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